


Waiting For You

by Annie46fic



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, M/M, child!fic, disabled!Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 13:18:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie46fic/pseuds/Annie46fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><span class="u">Prompt from auction winner:</span> A J2 fic about an arranged marriage.  Jared has always known that someday he is going to marry Jensen Ackles but he's nervous about meeting him especially because Jensen doesn't know that Jared isn’t perfect.  She also wanted a child if possible!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting For You

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally posted on my LJ in April 2011 and was written in response to a winning prompt from an auction to raise funds to help Japan.
> 
> [ ](http://community.livejournal.com/help_japan/5198.html?thread=2552910#t2552910)

“Sit still Jared.” His momma put her hands firmly on his shoulders. “I have to cut your hair.”

“My hair is fine.” Jared rubbed his shaking hands over faded denim. “I like it long.”

“Then at least let me trim it.” His momma ran a gentle finger over the curls at his neck. “You need to look neat and tidy.”

Jared sighed; he knew that whatever he said his momma would do as she liked and that today he was having a haircut.

“And don’t sigh.” He felt the cold metal of the scissors on his neck. “We want to make a good impression on Jensen, don’t we?”

“He is going to have to marry me anyway.” Jared hated sounding so resigned. “So it doesn’t matter, not really.”

“It matters to me, baby,” his momma said, gently. “I love you so much and I want to see you happy. I know this is hard for you but what will be will be and I am sure you will make Jensen a wonderful husband.”

Jared closed his eyes for a long moment, he knew his momma only meant well but he was scared, terrified even, and he had hoped this day would never come.

_Arranged marriages between single sexes were becoming almost as common as those between a man and a women. Often it was done for money or as a business proposition. Sometimes it was to give an under privileged family a chance to gain a foothold into the good life or to join powerful families, together, making them stronger._

_In the case of the Ackles and the Padalecki’s, the marriage of the two middle sons had been arranged because Alan Ackles, a powerful congressman, had been struggling to find a match for Jensen. His son was attractive enough, very attractive if the string of beautiful women and handsome men that their son had paraded in front of them was anything to go by. Jensen was, to put it politely, a slut and his mother despaired of him. When Jensen turned twenty-one, his father decided to make a match for him, to find someone who would offer stability, calmness, an anchor. He had approached Gerald Padalecki, an administrator in his office and Gerald had suggested his son Jared; a quiet shy boy who had few friends and very little social life. Jared had been seventeen at the time and it was decided that they would marry when he turned twenty-five giving everyone a chance to adapt._

_Because of tradition, odd as it was, the two boys were not allowed to meet but they did communicate by e-mail or by letter. Jared had seen an old photograph of Jensen on-line and he wondered what the handsome, bright-eyed man would think of a gangly youth who was growing like a weed and who was far from perfect – something his father had ‘forgotten’ to mention when the deal was struck._

_Jared quite liked Jensen. They talked about things that boys talk about, football, basketball, what they would like to do in the future. Encouraged, Jared sent Jensen a photo, just a head shot, too nervous to do anything else and Jensen seemed happy enough. Jared never mentioned ‘other things’, convinced that, if Jensen knew anything, he wouldn’t want to go through with the arrangement. It was perfectly legal for either of them to pull out but it just ‘wasn’t done’ and the marriage would go ahead, of that, Jared was certain._

__  
****

Today was the day; their first meeting and Jared was rapidly moving from terrified to absolutely petrified. He looked at his face in the mirror and bit his lip. His momma had done a good job on his hair, it looked good, shorter at the sides and longer at the back, curls flicking up in a way he could never control. His cheekbones were high and sharp beneath his tanned skin and his stormy hazel eyes slanted up beneath chestnut brows. He had grown into his own skin recently and he knew he looked okay but whether he would be good enough for the perfection that was Jensen Ackles he didn’t know.

There were three months to go before his twenty-fifth birthday and their marriage and he felt sure that the moment Jensen saw him he would want to renege on their arrangement. Jared knew he wasn’t going to be what Jensen wanted or expected and no amount of haircuts or smart suits would change that.

****

Jensen straightened his tie and stared at his reflection in the mirror; he looked good, hair perfect, skin flawless, just the hint of stubble to make him look and feel sexy. He grinned and studied his teeth, flickered his eyelashes and rubbed a hand across his cheekbones, head to one side. He might be considered vain but he didn’t really care, appearances counted in his world and he wanted to look good for his potential ‘life partner’ and his family, wanted to make sure that this Jared guy liked him and would accept him for what he was.

 

Technically, Jensen had no objection to this match. He was pretty sure that he could convince Jared that an open relationship would be best. Jared seemed like a nice guy, articulate and intelligent if his e-mails were anything to go by and pleasant looking too, all long bangs and doe eyes, the sort who was innocent inside and out, and easy to manipulate.

Jensen finished his preparations and fastened his tie. He could hear his mother calling his name and he grinned at the impatience in her voice.

“These things take time, mother,” he shouted down, languidly, as he picked up his coat from the hook and brushed away invisible hairs. 

Today, he thought with a grin, is going to be awesome.

****

He could tell, as he entered the hall, that Mrs Padalecki had been cleaning all morning, if not all week. There was the strong scent of polish and lavender and everything was gleaming, surfaces unblemished, carpets thick and lush. Gerald greeted them with a smile and showed them into the kitchen where a younger woman, Jared’s sister perhaps, was pouring out wine. Jensen could tell that the Padalecki’s weren’t exactly millionaires. He knew what Gerald did of course and Mrs Padalecki was a teacher as far as he knew. Jared had an older brother who was a doctor and he lived in the suburbs with his wife and two kids. Like Jensen, Jared wasn’t under pressure to supply his parents with grand-kids and heirs so he had been an ideal candidate for an arranged marriage. There would be no grandchildren from this particular match but Jensen wasn’t too bothered about that particular detail, he was far too young and far too free to tie himself down with children anyway.

****

After several minutes of awkward conversation in the kitchen Jensen was led into the lounge to meet Jared. For the first time since this whole thing began almost eight years ago Jensen felt a tinge of apprehension, a lurching in his stomach, a brief thought that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. He took a breath as they walked through the door and he almost fainted with relief when he saw Jared sitting in a chair waiting for him, the younger man’s face pale, eyes a little wild.

“Jensen,” Gerald sounded suddenly worried. “This is Jared, my son. Jared, this is Jensen Ackles.”

Jensen moved towards Jared, expecting him to rise to his feet, to maybe shake his hand. As he stared down he realized what an attractive guy Jared really was. He had broad shoulders; his smart black shirt straining across them, the definition of his pectoral muscles showing through the thin linen. His hair was clean, chestnut colored and floppy, untidy bangs covered his forehead so that his slanting eyes were almost obscured. Jensen’s mouth watered; he liked innocents, they were sweet and tasty and when Jared was his, he would take great pleasure in sampling the delights that were laid out in front of him.

Jared looked up at him for a long moment, a streak of red across his high cheekbones. He swallowed and Jensen saw his Adam’s apple rise and fall, saw his mouth purse just a little as if he were in pain. He still didn’t move and Jensen paused for a moment, wondering.

“Jared,” Mrs Padalecki’s voice was warm and soft. “You have to get up to greet your guest.”

Jensen watched Jared’s expression; it changed and he looked pained, his eyes squinting. He gazed across at Jensen for a long moment and then he got to his feet slowly, awkwardly and for the first time Jensen saw the leg brace.

“What the hell?” He was aware of how insensitive he was sounding right now but shock was thrumming through him and he put out his hand, instinctively, to steady Jared as the man lurched towards him.

Despite the brace Jared still stood tall; he was at least 6ft 5inches tall and his legs were long, the left one, the one in the brace, noticeably skinnier than the right. He wore the brace over his jeans; tight around his knee and strapped to his calve. He looked at Jensen guiltily as he rubbed at the brace and the limb beneath.

“I was knocked off my bike by a hit and run driver when I was only two,” Jared’s voice was low and slurry, pure Texan. He sounded choked, as if he had explained this a million times and never wanted to do it again. “I broke nearly every important bone in my leg, they thought I might have to have it amputated but after several operations they – this is the best they could do.” He looked up at Jensen in dumb appeal, eyes dark like a kicked puppy. “I don’t need a chair or a cane but there a lot of things I can’t do,” he swallowed again. “I guess someone should have mentioned it to you. I’m sorry.”

Jensen realized that in that one statement Jared was giving him an out. He wanted to pretend that it didn’t matter, that Jared was practically perfect, but the word ‘practically’ kept playing through his head and he wondered if he could do this thing at all.

“Doesn’t matter,” the words came out of his mouth before he had a chance to even think, to get them back, to say what he really meant. “We can work around it, get a house or apartment that makes things easier for you.” He smiled, tightly, realizing that this didn’t mean he couldn’t do as he planned, didn’t mean he couldn’t still be a player, see other people, encourage Jared to do the same.

“Really?” Jensen should have felt guilt at the delight on Jared’s face, delight and relief, unconcealed. “You don’t mind?”

Jensen shook his head, aware of the Padalecki’s behind him, aware of their relief, their guilt, aware of his own father’s ill-disguised disgust and all the more determined to go through with this because of it.

“No,” he said and it was partially the truth. “I don’t mind in the least.”

****

Jared lay on his bed naked; he stared down at himself, at his chest, his flat stomach. He looked at his legs, the right leg strong looking, thigh taut and muscled, calf normal, his foot big, the toes straight. His left leg was a different matter. The thigh was covered in scars, the knee swollen and purple, the calf twisted and thin, ankle bones misshapen, foot and toes curved and claw-like. He knew it was ugly and he knew that Jensen would have to see it, knew that once they were life partners it would be unavoidable. He bit his lip. He had been surprised that Jensen hadn’t seemed to mind his leg, hadn’t seemed to mind the fact his father had kept his disability hidden. Jensen was perfect and even more attractive in the flesh, he looked good and smelled even better and he would make anyone an attractive partner and now – now he was saddled with Jared.

The plans for the wedding went without a hitch; they were getting wed at Jensen’s house, his mother insisting on a marquee and limitless guests. There was an expensive caterer booked and suits from Calvin Kline. Everything had to be and would be perfect – apart perhaps from Jensen’s intended.

His mother told him constantly that it wasn’t too late for him to change his mind but he insisted that he was happy with Jared, that he liked him, that he wasn’t shallow enough to give him up because he wasn’t exactly perfect. It did matter of course, Jensen didn’t want to be tied to a cripple for the rest of his life but he was certain that Jared would be so grateful that he would go for Jensen’s idea of an open relationship and Jensen could get back to his old ways again.

It was hot and sunny and Jared was sweating in his smart suit and tie. He was uncomfortable and in pain but he was determined not to start married life with the fucking leg brace over his pants so today he wore it over his bare leg. It chafed and made him sore but he felt so much better without it showing and he stood straight and tall at the flower decked altar as he waited for Jensen.

He was nervous again; tonight he would be on his honeymoon, tonight he would be with another person for the first time and he was both excited and terrified in equal measure. He had no idea, beyond the books he had read, how to pleasure another person, how to touch someone just to excite them and he hoped that Jensen would help him, that Jensen wouldn’t be repulsed by his leg, and that Jensen would be everything he had imagined and more.

The ceremony was quiet and understated; Jensen looked very handsome in a black tux and white silk shirt with a dark tie and Jared was blown away by him, wondering how he got to be so lucky. His heart was beating hard as they exchanged their vows. Jensen’s voice was steady, Jared’s shaking a little and both moms were crying although he couldn’t help but notice that Jensen’s mom looked really, really miserable.

Afterwards, they sat at the top table; cotton starched and gleaming, ate fine food which wasn’t enough to even fill the hole in Jared’s stomach and drank wine and champagne until he felt flushed and dizzy, Jensen’s hand firm and warm over his own, fingers tracing patterns around his wrist, pads pressing on the pulse points. Jared felt odd, almost as if he had lost control of his own body. His pants felt tight and his thighs were shaking, the knee on his good leg twitching under the table, the soreness of his calf wiped away by alcohol and adrenaline.

There was dancing and speeches but he almost zoned out and, suddenly, it was all over and he was climbing, awkwardly, into a big, shiny limo with Jensen - leaning his head on Jensen’s broad shoulder, confetti and rice sticking in his hair, clinging to the strands.

“That was nice,” he slurred and he was sure he heard Jensen laugh. “I don’t drink often,” he mumbled in way of explanation. “Sorry.”

“Just relax and enjoy it,” Jensen murmured. “It’s our wedding day.”

“Yeah.” He felt his lids close, body hot and heavy. “Our wedding day . . . .”

****

He awoke between clean sheets, shirt and pants gone, just his white wife beater and his boxers. His mouth was dry and his hair was in his eyes. He had a sort of empty feeling inside as if things hadn’t quite gone as planned. He sat up with a groan and saw that it was light outside, the fading pink of the sunrise turning the sky red, the sun beginning to peek out of the clouds. His left leg hurt but it felt light and he realized that Jensen must have taken the brace off and it made him feel sick, and embarrassed.

“Breakfast?” Jensen appeared out from the bathroom toweling his hair. He was dressed in a thick white robe and it looked as if he were naked underneath. Jared flushed, realizing he had slept drunkenly through his wedding night and, beneath the embarrassment, there was the searing stab of disappointment.

“Yeah, thanks.” He sat up a little more, groaning as his head and stomach protested. “I’m sorry,” he said, softly. “I’m not a drinker normally.”

“No problem.” Jensen perched on the end of the bed. “This is one nice suite, isn’t it?”

Jared looked around; it was indeed a luxurious suite, huge king sized bed, plush red carpets, big picture windows and baskets of fruit and toiletries. 

“Yeah,” he mused. “It’s real nice.” 

“What’s wrong?” Jensen looked at him with his head on one side, his smile fading.

Jared’s heart began to thunder; he put his hand on Jensen’s thigh, the touch tentative and shy.

“I missed our wedding night.” He could feel his heart pounding hard in his chest and the flush of embarrassment flood across his cheeks.

Jensen looked odd for a moment and Jared couldn’t read his expression.

“Jared,” he began and there was something about his tone that made Jared freeze, his hand lifting from Jensen’s thigh as fast as he could move it. “Jared I wanted to talk to you about that. I-I thought that given the circumstances of our relationship, of our marriage – that we should maybe forgo the physical side of it for a while.”

Jared’s heart stopped pounding and almost stopped; sinking like a stone in his chest. He felt as if his blood had turned to ice and his throat closed as he tried to find the words.

“I-is it my leg? Does it repulse you?”

“No!” The denial was too fast, too slick. “It is – I thought we might have an open relationship, see other people.”

“I don’t want to see other people.” Jared felt close to crying and he wanted to go home, run back to his momma like a wuss. “I wanted to be with you.”

“Come on, Jared.” Jensen was trying to placate him, he could tell by his tone. “We can have a good life together; nice house, lots of money. I’m working with my father and dollars are not a problem. I know you are studying for a degree and that you want to be a teacher like your mom. You must meet a lot of nice girls – or boys – at college.”

“I never really looked.” Jared rolled away from Jensen, buried his head in the cotton pillow. “I knew I was promised to you and - and I was always conscious of my leg. I never . . . .”

“You’re a virgin?” Jensen sounded shocked, stunned.

“Yeah.” Now his face was hidden he let the tears come. “I’m a virgin.”

****

Jensen never expected, never dreamed. It had been obvious that Jared was something of an innocent but he had never thought of Jared being untouched, or so naive that he had no knowledge of anyone – man or woman. They hadn’t really talked on a private level. Jensen mused, they had communicated on-line for years but they had talked about football, families, strange impersonal things. Jensen hadn’t really thought beyond the wedding, hadn’t considered Jared’s feelings at all. He had figured, selfishly, that Jared would want to do his own thing after they were married, that Jared would welcome the freedom, welcome living in his own house, and having his own home. Jensen knew Jared was a student and his knowledge of students seemed to stretch to dorm parties and late nights, too much to drink and childish pranks. Clearly, he had been very wrong and clearly, Jared was not that kind of student.

He had thought Jared would be pleased that Jensen had accepted him despite his disability. He remembered taking the brace off Jared’s leg, remembered how horrible the limb had looked, thin and twisted, his stomach turning as he thought about touching it. He shuddered, guilt, worry, and repulsion all warring inside of him. He stared at the back of Jared’s head, at the shaking of his shoulders.

“Jared, I’m sorry,” he kept his voice low and soothing. “I didn’t think.”

Jared rolled back over; his face was smeared with tears, snot on his nose. He looked wrecked, hurt but most of all he looked disappointed.

“No,” he said, finally. “I was the one who didn’t think. I thought that we might actually make a go of it but clearly that isn’t the case. If you want to go back to the life you led before we married I won’t stand in your way and I won’t tell your parents. We – it might be difficult for us to be friends but we can at least live together without fighting.” He shrugged, “And we should go to social events together – show a united front.”

Jensen’s heart jolted; Jared sounded sick and resigned. He put out a trembling hand and squeezed the younger man’s shoulder, soft and gentle.

“Look Jared . . . ,” he began but before he could get any further Jared pulled away from his grasp, his hand hanging uselessly in mid-air.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jared said through clenched teeth, jaw aching. “I told you that it didn’t matter and it doesn’t. Let’s just get out of here, shall we? Forget the honeymoon. I don’t want to waste your money or mine. We can just go home, settle in and all that.” He smiled but it was tight and bitter. “It's no good pretending that we are gonna be anything more than roommates. At least our parents won’t be expecting offspring.”

Jensen saw the front that Jared was projecting; it was easy to see how much those words had cost him. His face was expressionless but his eyes were filled with misery, his mouth down-turned. His throat closed and he felt sick with guilt.

“You can have what you want now,” Jared said, finally but Jensen couldn’t think of a reply. He wasn’t sure he wanted it anymore and he knew right there and then that he had blown it.

****

The apartment his father had bought was fantastic; white walls, huge spaces, furnished in the most tasteful of manners. It had been adapted to incorporate Jared’s problems; a huge double bed set up in a downstairs room, an on-suite bathroom with all the best and most high-tech of facilities and a modern, well stocked kitchen full of the things he knew his son liked best.

Jared limped into the lounge and collapsed on the soft, leather sofa. His face was pale and his hair hung greasy around his neck. He was tired but had been determined to walk without aid, determined that he would not let his leg-brace become an issue. He was independent now, living away from home for the first time in his life, able to do what he wanted without question. It wasn’t enough though, he had hoped that he and Jensen would have a relationship, hoped that this might be the start of something good. Jared had read plenty of books on the subject and he had spent a lot of time on-line and he had been confident that he could make Jensen a good partner but Jensen didn’t want him, not like that, and after all that had been said between them he wasn’t sure they could even be friends.

He could see Jensen watching him out of the corner of his eye; see that clear green gaze accessing him and probably finding him wanting. 

“It’s a really nice place.” Jared tried to keep his voice casual, “Your dad is very generous.”

“Thanks.” Jensen went into the kitchen to find the coffee pot and some milk. He needed caffeine right now and he needed to work out how to explain to his father why they had left their honeymoon hotel nearly a week ahead of schedule. All of this was his fault and he wanted to make things right but he just didn’t know how.

****

Living with someone was not as hard as he thought it would be; Jared kept out of his way, didn’t ask him where he was going or who he was with. Despite the problems with his leg, Jared was fiercely independent; he spent a lot of time at college and a lot of time at home working on its computer. He cooked and cleaned for them, washed and ironed and Jensen wanted to tell him not to, tell him that he was perfectly capable of doing those things but Jared wanted to do it and Jensen learned to keep his mouth shut.

They slept together because they had one king sized bed and Jensen felt uneasy about asking his father for a spare. At night Jared would roll as far away from him as possible, not one part of his body touching Jensen, his demeanor stiff and unyielding. He wore sweat pants and a thick t-shirt whatever the weather and Jensen knew he was self-conscious about his leg but didn’t know what to do about it.

He still went out to bars and clubs, just as he wanted, just as he had asked but it wasn’t how he thought it would be. He picked up a random guy one night and thought about going home with him. It was months since he had had sex and he thought he would be horny, unable to hold back but instead he couldn’t even get it up, kissing the guy goodbye in the parking lot and watching him walk away with a huge amount of relief.

He was beginning to realize how much he missed ‘talking’ to Jared. The two of them had had a good relationship on-line with shared interests and a shared sense of humor. He had been looking forward to continuing their friendship, being two guys together against the world but he had ruined all that with his crass behavior and his guilt and regret both big enough to build a city.

****

Jared was sleeping curled up in the big bed; his leg had been hurting and his eyes were sore through studying. He knew Jensen was out and might be out all night so he had gone to bed, settled down with a good book and fallen instantly asleep. 

He was aware of somebody standing at the side of the bed and he opened his eyes with a start. It was dark but there was a sliver of light coming in through the window were the curtains were open just a crack. Jared yawned and rolled over, rubbing his eyes. Jensen was a shadowy figure in the semi-blackness and Jared frowned.

“I thought you were out,” he said, quietly. “Didn’t expect you back.”

“Jared.” Jensen sat down on the bed and pulled the covers back, putting his hands on Jared’s shoulders. “Jared . . . .”

Jared smelled cologne and whiskey. Jensen’s breath was warm against his skin, his hands gentle but determined.

“Don’t!” Jared felt a tremor run through him, shivers of fear and anticipation making him shudder inside. “Jensen, please don’t.”

“I’m so sorry, Jared,” Jensen sounded drunk but Jared could tell that he was mostly sober. “I am so sorry.” He rubbed his fingers down Jared’s throat, wrapping them in his hair and pulling him upwards so that he could drop a kiss on Jared’s lips. “Let me make it up to you.”

Jared couldn’t help himself; he leaned into the kiss letting Jensen capture his mouth with more passion, his tongue sweeping inside, wrapping itself around Jared’s, his hands holding Jared’s face firmly as the kiss deepened.

“I was wrong,” Jensen continued. “So wrong. I thought I wanted things to stay the same. I thought I wanted to be the man I had always been but I was wrong. I don’t want to be that guy anymore, Jared. I want something else now - I want you.”

****

Jensen reached over and turned on the bedside lamp; in the dimness of the orange glow Jared’s eyes were wide and sloe-dark, the pulse jumping in his throat. Jensen saw so many emotions flash across his face; panic, confusion, fear and finally desire.

“I’m sorry, Jared,” he said, softly. “I was so wrong.”

Jared was silent. Jensen smiled and reached down taking the hem of Jared’s t-shirt, pulling it off over his head. Jared watched him the whole time, shuddering. Jensen bent and kissed Jared again, smothered his lips and played patterns on his tongue. Jared groaned and Jensen took that as encouragement, moving downwards slowly, sucking and nibbling at each nipple, feeling Jared harden beneath his sweatpants. He grinned as he reached Jared’s belly-button and licked inside of it, his hands grasping the elastic band of Jared’s sweatpants and tugging.

“No,” Jared’s whisper was wrecked, reluctant and Jensen knew why. He shushed Jared, his hands moving the sweatpants down slowly until they reached Jared’s thighs.

“This is as far as they need to go, baby,” Jensen said and at the use of the endearment Jared drew in a halting breath and Jensen smelled the strong scent of his arousal. He grinned then and licked tentatively at the head of Jared’s cock. Jared moaned in response and his hands came down to hold Jensen; fingers tangling in the short hairs on the back of his neck, a choking whimper leaving his lips. Jensen knew right then that this would not take long, that there would be no finesse, no drawing it out. Jared was bucking into his mouth with unrestrained lust and desperation, panting so hard Jensen worried he might have some sort of attack. Then he heard Jared mumble something that sounded like his name and his mouth was flooded with hot, salty fluid and he was swallowing hard, pulling back and working Jared through it with a firm hand. His own pleasure could wait, he figured, as he gentled Jared, kissing him on his thigh, his hip, his belly and his mouth. This was all about Jared now and the rest could come later.

****

Jared woke feeling limp and sated; his head was cradled on Jensen’s broad chest and his arm was slung across Jensen’s stomach. Sometime in the night Jensen had pulled Jared’s sleep pants back up over his legs and Jared felt warm and contented. He let his own hand stray down Jensen’s naked chest down towards the waistband of his pajamas. He wasn’t as experienced as Jensen but he wanted – he wanted to give the other man something in return for the incredible sensations that Jensen had given him. Jared had not thought they could have this, had not believed it really but now – now he felt as if there WAS something between them at last and he felt oddly contented.

A big hand came up and stilled his own hands progress. Jensen rolled his head and stared at Jared in the dimness, a smile on his face.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I’ve taken care of it.”

“Sorry.” Jared’s face was hot and he rubbed at it with his shaking fingers. “Jensen . . . .”

“Thank you,” Jensen said, gently.

“For what?” Jared felt aroused again, confused.

“For giving me a second chance.”

“I - .”

“I treated you like shit,” Jensen said, holding Jared closer to him, his mouth soft on Jared’s throat. “I thought you would be so grateful, you know?” He felt his throat thick with shame. “Grateful for the fact we were together, grateful that someone wanted you even with your - your brace.”

“Jensen,” Jared tried again but Jensen shushed him.

“I was a fucking heel, Jared. I thought I could marry you and by doing so I could go on with my life without my parent’s interference. We got on pretty well, didn’t we? I used to like our chat sessions on-line and I-I should have been more sensitive. I should have given us both a chance.”

“Do we have a chance now?” Jared was aware of sounding innocent and naïve but he didn’t care. He had heard what Jensen had said and once it might have hurt him but Jensen had been honest with him, Jensen had given him physical pleasure, Jensen wanted them to be together as a proper partnership and he wanted it too. “Do we?”

“Yeah,” Jensen sounded relieved. “Yeah, we have a chance. Shall we start again?”

“Please.” Jared was smiling wide and happy, snuggling down again, the two of them touching in bed for the first time since they were married. “A fresh start.”

“A fresh start,” Jensen agreed and he held Jared closer, thanking anyone who was listening for the younger man’s kind and giving heart.

****

It didn’t get better right away; now that they had declared something, it was awkward between them for a while. They weren’t physically intimate right away but they did start to touch each other more, Jared throwing an arm around Jensen’s shoulder, Jensen reassuring Jared about his leg with soft touches to his thigh, a gentle kiss on his knee that made Jared laugh. 

They started to entertain; parents coming around for Sunday lunch, the families getting to know each other. Jared’s parents a little overawed by the richness of the Ackle’s family, Jensen’s parents a little uncomfortable with the Padalecki’s obvious hero worship. Jared and Jensen took the middle ground and it was enough. They felt like they were part of a tiny conspiracy and it drew them together.

Jared was happy but he wanted more; he wanted more of the intense physical sensations that Jensen had given him. He wanted them to be a married couple in every way and he wished he knew how to go about seducing Jensen. 

It was a quiet Saturday evening and they had stayed in drinking wine and watching a stupid, soppy video. Jared was warm and relaxed, Jensen laying in his lap. Jared felt so happy, so contented and that is what drove him on to lean forward and drop a kiss on Jensen’s forehead, letting his lips move down to play over Jensen’s cheeks and then to his mouth, kissing him hard and passionately.

Jensen groaned; he rolled over and buried his head into Jared’s already hard crotch. Jared moaned and bucked his hips, feeling Jensen nibble at him though the cotton of his briefs. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Jared whispered. “I want you.”

Jensen got to his feet and held out his hand; Jared took it full of hope knowing that now was the time. Now, was the time that their marriage was going to be consummated and his heart was pounding hard and fast in his chest, his head spinning as he followed Jensen into their bedroom and into their future.

****

Jensen knew he had to be gentle; he knew that full physical sex could really hurt the first time unless the partner was giving and considerate. He had to admit to his self that he had not always been the nicest of people, that during sex he had concentrated on his own pleasure with no thought for his partner. The _new Jensen_ , the one that wanted Jared, didn’t really care what he got from this as long as Jared was happy, as long as Jared got what he needed.

He stripped the younger man quickly, aware of Jared’s reluctance as he pulled the sweat pants from his legs. He shook his head and stroked Jared’s thin and wasted leg with a tenderness that was almost reverent. Jared smiled then and let his lids flutter closed, thighs falling open as he laid himself out for Jensen. Jensen touched him with experienced fingers, kissed him with passion and sensitivity. He wrapped his lips around Jared’s hard cock and began to stroke at his balls. He had lube by the bed side and he made sure his hand was almost soaking with it before he reached behind Jared’s already tight sac; his finger breaching Jared’s entrance, feeling how tight Jared was, hearing Jared give a moan that was part pleasure and part pain. He went slowly, keeping Jared on the edge with lips and tongue. He added two fingers and then three and when he felt Jared was ready he lifted his legs and lined himself up, mindful of not hurting Jared.

“Please,” Jared’s voice was wrecked. “Please, Jensen.”

Jensen pushed forward with almost frustrating slowness. He was hard and aching wanting to plunder Jared so much, wanting to let go, wanting to give and take in equal measures. Jared clenched around him, his cock softening as Jensen went deeper, his face tight, teeth biting down on his lower lip.

“I should stop if I’m hurting you.” He stilled, the pain of arousal almost too much.

“No!” Jared shook his head and guided Jensen’s fingers to his cock. “Carry on, please.”

Jensen began to move in earnest, his hand stroking in rhythm with his thrusts. Jared’s cock filled and hardened and suddenly Jared was chanting his name desperately, pain giving way to lust and desire. Jared cried out, arched his back and came hard, all over Jensen. The sudden increased tightness around him made Jensen tense and he was pushed over the edge, coming endlessly, giving Jared everything he had, hearing his own voice mutter over and over, “I love you. I love you. I love you!”

Jared flopped back on the bed bringing Jensen with him, holding him close, whispering into his ear that he loved him too, that he wanted him forever, that they were real partners now and that he couldn’t be happier.

Jensen slipped into sleep with Jared in his arms; pretty sure that life just got as good as it could get and that it couldn’t possibly get any better.

****

They are officially a couple now and it is wonderful; now when they walk together they hold hands, sling their arms around each others shoulders, hug and kiss in public. Jensen wears his wedding ring with pride and Jared just beams. He is coming on in leaps and bounds; eating and drinking, keeping fit, looking brown and beautiful. Jensen knows it is him that has put the smile on Jared’s face, knows that Jared is confident, happy and contented because of him. It is domestic and brilliant and absolutely perfect and Jensen wakes up every morning with a grin on his face.

Now that Jared is more confident and worldly they have sex virtually every day; they have it all around the house, on the couch, over the table, in the shower, even in the car. Jensen is mindful of Jared’s leg but the younger man never mentions it, doesn’t seem to see it as an issue anymore. The Padalecki’s have accepted him because of this; he can see how grateful they are, how relieved that their son has become the man they always hoped he would be and they invite the two of them around to dinner every Sunday, a new tradition that Jensen loves.

The months pass and they are happy, settled and together and Jensen can’t quite believe it when their first anniversary rolls around and Jared brings him breakfast in bed complete with strong coffee, mouth-watering bacon and his post stacked neatly in a silver rack. There are cards and gifts for them both and Jared gives him a new leather jacket that is as soft as butter. Jensen slips it on over his nakedness and Jared almost leers, the desire in his eyes palpable. Jensen laughs and reaches for a slice of toast, opening another letter, delaying tactics that will only serve to make Jared want him more. He takes the official looking paper out of the envelope and stares at it, his mouth going dry, any joy he was feeling ebbing away in a moment, his past coming back to haunt him in the most unexpected of ways.

Jared sees how unhappy he looks, sees the tears come and he leans over to take the letter from Jensen’s nerveless fingers. He looks at the words on the paper and bites his lip, eyes flicking over to where Jensen is sitting, pale, tear-smeared and guilty, his eyes begging forgiveness – again.

Jared looks again at the letter and shakes his head.

“Is it true?” He asks, finally.

“Yeah.” Jensen looks so hurt, so wrecked. “She and I had a fling for a while, I guess one night we were so wasted we never . . . .” he bit his lip so hard it spurted blood and Jared shook his head.

“Jensen, what she is asking you – do you . . . do you want to do it?”

There was hope in those green eyes now, Jared saw it, rejoiced in it, wondered if it was fate.

“Yeah,” Jensen’s voice was laced with expectation. “Yeah, I think I really do.”

“Jensen, I have always wanted kids,” Jared let it out then, his secret, his one hidden desire. “But I kinda thought no one would want me and when we got ‘engaged’ I figured it didn’t matter, that I wouldn’t have my wish but I would have you.”

Jensen leaned forward and took Jared into his arms, the letter – telling him that he was a father, that his ex-lover didn’t want the child, that she had heard he had married and she wanted him to take care of this unexpected burden, fluttered the floor and Jensen watched it go, his throat so full he thought he would choke on it.

“How did I get to be so lucky?” he asked, hoarsely and Jared nibbled at his neck and held him impossibly closer.

“We are both lucky,” he replied and Jensen laughed.

****

They went to the lawyers together; it was a cold, clinical office and Jared felt uneasy as he limped through the door. His leg was sore, a sure indication that he was tense and nervous. Beside him, Jensen was noticeably shaking and he put his hand on Jared’s arm to steady himself, his tongue coming out to lick dry lips.

The secretary greeted them with a tight smile and showed them into the office. There was a tired looking man behind the desk and a carry crib in the corner. Jensen could hear sniffling coming from the crib and he tensed, his hand on Jared’s arm again, tight and almost painful.

They hardly heard what the man was saying; Jensen had taken the paternity test a few weeks ago but it had been per functionary to say the least. They both knew, from the tone of the original letter, that it would be positive and after telling their respective families, they had decided that they wanted to take on this child.

The lawyer's assistant reached into the crib and took out the baby; it was squalling now, lost and confused. The woman handed it over to Jared who hesitated and then after a nod from Jensen took the baby into his arms and stared down at her.

She was red-faced with a tuft of golden hair on the top of her soft head; her eyes were bright green and she looked so like Jensen for a moment that it made his heart stop. He stared at her and stroked a long finger down her delicate skin, his breath catching in his throat as he gazed at her.

He had always wanted a family; loved his nieces and envied his brother. He had figured that he wouldn’t ever meet anyone who would accept him and his disability and his father’s agreement to the arranged marriage had pretty much scuppered his chance of fatherhood and children of his own. When he had met Jensen he had been instantly attracted to him and now that the disappointment of their original meeting was long gone, he was so much in love with his life-partner that he figured he must have always been gay. Neither of them had seen children in their future but this unexpected little ‘burden’ had changed all that and now – now Jared was looking at his – his daughter, maybe not by blood but by association, and he was determined to be a good parent, to support Jensen and to be the best partner he could possibly be.

He looked up to see Jensen looking down at him; the older man stood with his hand on Jared’s shoulder for a moment, just staring at his daughter, tears making his eyes wet, his cheeks flush. He knelt for a moment and put his hand over Jared’s so that they were both holding the screaming child, neither of them sure what to do but both of them determined to find out.

“Shall we take her home?” Jensen asked.

“Right now,” Jared replied and that it seemed was that.

****

**Epilogue**

They called their daughter, Adia - which meant gift. She was beautiful and precious and the center of their world.

Their families eventually accepted her; taking her into their hearts in the same way. She was spoiled by everyone who met her and Jensen couldn’t bring himself to stop people from doing so, knowing that he always did it himself!

Jared graduated from college and got a job as a teacher; there was a nursery in his school where Adia could go and Jensen drove his ‘family’ there every morning before going off to work in his father’s office. They were incredibly domesticated, sharing all the tasks from cleaning to changing nappies, from making cakes to dressing Adia for her day. Jensen knew that Jared still struggled with his leg but he never said a word, never complained. He spent his time playing on the floor with their daughter, laying comfortably with her resting on his chest. Jensen watched the two of them together and thanked God that he had stopped being so selfish, thanked God that he had seen Jared for what he was; he still felt guilty about using Jared as a way to escape his parents and even after all these years he wondered if he would ever make it up to him. Jared, however, refused to even listen to his well-worn apologies and told him that Adia and Jensen were all he ever wanted or needed and that he would never, ever regret anything about his life.

Jared was there the day that Adia walked for the first time; walked on two good legs, strong and unspoiled. Jared knew there would be a day when he wouldn’t be able to keep up with her, wouldn’t be able to race after her and he hoped that she would accept him, love him for what he was, love him the way Jensen did now; without question.

Jensen stood with his arm around his life-partner and cried; he hadn’t ever expected to be so happy, hadn’t ever expected to have a family, a child to care for, someone he loved more than life itself.

He had been selfish and using but he had changed and he knew that Jared had changed too. Neither of them were the people they were when they had first met and he was thankful for it.

On Adia’s second birthday he persuaded his father to pay for a room in their honeymoon hotel, reassuring him that this time they would stay. Whilst his daughter slumbered, he took Jared into his arms and more than made up for the first time they had been here, loving him under the sheets, both of them trying for silence, love and laughter mingling as they both reached completion together.

It was closure and it was enough.

“No more saying sorry,” Jared whispered and Jensen realized, there and then, that he had nothing left to be sorry for.

They sneaked champagne from the mini bar and drank to their future and it was bright and stretched out in front of them like a dream.

End


End file.
